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Dads - Scheduling Access to your Children

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Are you a separated Dad and not enjoying valuable time with your children?

Many Dad's who are separated, find themselves in a situation where their partners are seemingly withholding the children from them.

They may have had an informal agreement, or even a parenting plan when they felt assured their former partner valued the Dad's relationship with their children, and indicated they were very willing to support this ongoing contact. (This scenario can occur with either parent whether the Mum or the Dad).

It can be very confusing and frustrating when all of a sudden, you find that the time you had previously spent with the children seems to be diminishing.  Excuses are repeatedly given as to why your next scheduled visit cannot occur.   

What is the Children's other parent really thinking? 

You may be tempted to think that the other parent is being vindictive and deliberately denying you access to the children.  But invariably, the motivation is based on that parent's own fears.  The parent may be fearing that if the children's relationship with the father is positive, and the children come back to the mother appearing happy, then that somehow threatens the strength of the mother's relationship. The mother may interpret this situation as leading to the loss of her relationship with the children. If this is the fear, then the natural response will be to try to hold the children closer to her. There can, however, be many other reasons that motivate such behaviour.  Whatever that situation is, seek help to get it resolved.

What can I do about it?

It is important to address this issue immediately. If you are the parent whose time with your children is being impacted, the first step would be to raise it with the other parent in a neutral way, requesting that the agreed arrangement be reinstated. If you don't get a positive response from the other parent, then advise them that you are concerned about the change in arrangements and that you wish to seek assistance to resolve the problem. If you have a parenting plan, there is usually a clause in the plan that states what actions you have agreed to take if issues arise that you are having difficulty resolving. This may be to book a session with your Family Dispute Resolution Practitioner to resolve the issue. Take the steps to engage the nominated person at a mutually convenient time. 

 

 

Read 1257 times Last modified on Friday, 05 November 2021 12:00
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